Relationships - Go Green
Posted on May 3, 2008 - Filed Under Finance
Just as going green may preserve the planet for future generations, making your relationship greener may preserve your relationship and benefit the next generation.
A few ways that we can be more environmentally friendly are to save energy, eliminate toxins, and reduce, reuse and recycle. Taking steps to improve in these areas will mean a healthier environment, improving our chances of living a longer and healthier life.
If we apply those same thoughts and principles to marriage, what could we do to have a greener relationship?
Save Energy
To save energy in our relationships and become more energy efficient, it is important to consider the kind of energy that we are using. Thoughts and emotions are made up of energy. Negative thoughts and emotions drain us of energy, where positive thoughts and emotions energize us or build us up. For a greener relationship, decrease your negative thoughts and emotions and increase the positive.
Eliminate Toxins
Toxins can build up in a relationship, just as they can in the environment. Relationships can tolerate a certain amount of toxins, but any relationship will die if the level of toxins builds to an intolerable level. Toxins in your relationship come from things like refusing to accept responsibility for your own feelings and behavior, trying to control your partner, refusing to deal with issues, criticizing each other, getting even, and thinking you are better or smarter than your partner.
It is important not only to try and eliminate toxins in your relationship, but to replace them with healthy alternatives. Strive for at least a 5 - 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. That means that you do or say 5 nice things for every less than kind thing said or done.
Reduce
What should we reduce in our relationships? Anything that is harmful to the relationship. Reduce fighting and learn healthier ways to disagree and problem solve.
Reuse
Reuse whatever works in your relationship. Do more of what works. Think of times when you have handled things well and use that to help you approach new challenges in a similar way.
Recycle
A great thing to recycle in your relationship is wonderful memories. Talk about the good times and great experiences you have had together. Capture these memories in picture or journals and revisit them periodically. If it felt good to make the memory, it will feel good to share and enjoy the memory. Keep making new memories you can recycle to strengthen your relationship.
Taking steps to improve in these areas will mean a healthier relationship environment, improving your chances of lasting and healthy marriage. Going green to keep your relationship environment healthy does take some work and effort, but the alternative is living in a polluted relationship or ending up with no relationship at all.
Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
Tags: enhance, go green, healthy relationships, relationships
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